haiii......
Frndzz..me apne kam life k experience ko dekha h use share karna chahti hu..!! mene bhut kuch btaya h aap pdoge to mujhe response denaa..

kahan se shuru karu kuch smj me nhi aa rah h..itna pta h ki kal mujhe kuch sikha kar gya h...me b apni luv story k baare me share karna chahti hu qki mujhe khud ko nhi pta kyaa me galat thi..

me jab 8th standard me pdti thi meri ek relation me frnd thi jiska nam ani tha..me hmesha usse milne jaya karti thi aur apna waqt nikala karti thi..bt muje bilkul alag lgta tha jab me ani k brther ko dekhti thi me uske samne nazerein nhi mila sakti thi..pta nhi muje khud ko..qki ani k sath usk cousins b pdte the bt muje itna alag nhi lgta tha jitna usse lagta tha...mujhe kahi na khi aesa kgta tha ki i like him bt i dnt knw..uski pdai khtm hote hi wo udaipur chala gya aur ek saal baad ani ne ghar shift kar diya..aese hi time nikalta gyaa..ani apne gav chali gyi hmesha k liye...kuch acha nhi lgta tha jb us gali se nikalti hu...bt dheere2 me apni pdai me busy ho gyi thi..to us km yad kar leti thi..

ek din mujhe mobile kharidne ka shock hua bt muje papa ne nhi dilwaya bt mom ko kesi ne diya gftd wo mene le liya..muje b sbke jese msgs ka shock lgne lga aur msgs free karwae ..me msg ka w8t karti bt kesi ka jaldi reply nhi aata jitna jaldi mere di k mb me aata tha..mene ek din ani k brother ko msg kia its my new no. save it ..uska reply aaya ohk i can..mujhe acha lga..fir hmari chat hui ,muje usse chating karna bhut pasand tha bas usse chat karne ka intzar karti thi..muje uski pyari bate bhut achi lagti aur kbhi to muje chedta bt mujhe bhura nhi lgta tha..aese hi me usse bhut tahng karti rhti thi..me use pasand karne lag gyi thi..bt mujhe nhi pta chalta ki pyar kaya hotaa h..isi bich mera ek aur frnd tha jiska nam nhi lena chahti hu bt u accept as a X . meri X se b bhut achi bate hoti thi dheere dheere dono mere bst frnd ban gye..me unhe bst frnd manti thi bt wo mujse pyar karte the y kbhi bola nhi.. wo kbhi qn type msg me kuch aesa show karte ki wo mujse pyar karte h mgar me use ignore kar deti thi..time bitta gyaa..1 saal ho gya tha hmari dosti ka.. meri hmesha unse bat hoti thi jb nhi karti to nind nhi aati thii..mujhe kesi ek k saath hi chat karna acha lagta tha me dono se nhi kar pati thi isliye jb X se chat karti to use bat nhi karti...aese hi ek din jab hmare ghar me cousin ki shadi thi ..meri cousin ki shadi ani k brother k cousin k sath ho rhi thi..
hm gav me taiyari me lge hue the ek din ani k brother ne mujhe msg kia 14 feb valentines k din ki mujhe kuch khna h jb aap free ho tb mujhe call karna..mene msg pdte hi uske bare me sochne lagi ki kya bolna chahta h wo mujse wese muje ek baar to lga tha ki i love you kahega bt itna confidence k sath nhi kh skti thi ki yahi kahega wo..thodi der bad mene use call kiya.. kya hua btao muje me free ho gyi hu..usne mujhe kaha me abhi frnd k sath gum rha hu aur ganne kha rha hu apko khana h kyaa mene mna bolke call end up kar diyaa 5 min bad uska call aaya i love you.. karke me itnaa shock ho gyi dekh k muje bt gussa b aane laga aur use bhut kuch kh diya jo nhi khna tha..usne mujhe kaha mene to apne dil ki baat kahi h nw as ur wish bt mene tbse usse frndship tod di..y baat leke mujhe nind nhi aayi us rat ko sirf uske baare me sochti rhi... y baat mene apne X frnd ko btai usne mgr mujse ulta pucha ki agar me uski jagah hota to tum kya karti ..mene kaha mujhe nhi ptaa..mene uski us baat ko dhyan se nhi liya aur chod di jbki usme uska pyar chupa hua tha..karib aese binaa baat kare me rh na paayi aur use reception k din msg kiaa..20 feb 2011 ko..tb me uske qn ka reply nhi de paayi ki mera answer kyaa h..ptaa ni me usse q bat kar rhi thi..ek din meri achi frnd jinko me kat khti hu wo b ani k brther k bst frnd thi to kat ka call aaya mere paas aur mujse bhut der tak baat ki fir kaha kya tu usse pyar karti h me tab kuch bol nhi paayi unhone mujhe kaha din raat chat pe lgi rhti h sochti h y pyaar hi h aur wo tujhe aaj call karega me gabrane lag gyi wo mujhe call karega.!!!
fir uska call aaya mene aadhe gante se baat ki ..usne mujse pucha b kya aap mujse pyaar karna chahte ho mene 3 din ka waqt manga..3 din khtm ho gye kuch pta nhi chala me kuch soch b nhi paayi ... mene use ha kaha ki muje apse pyar karna h...dheere dheere me chupke se usse bat karti..mujhe bhut achaa lga bas usk k liye mere dil me kuch hone lga, vo mere liye bahut khas
ho gaya, humesha uske bare me sochna, uski ek2 bt ko yd kr kr k muskrana. Uski bato pr gussa hona to kbhi ruthna manana, lekin in sb me mene dhyan hi nhi diya ki mujhe kya ho raha h, me usse itna serious lene lgi, jitna mene kbhi kisi ko nhi liya. Jb me usse bt krti to uski bato ko sunkr hasti, or jb usse bt nhi krti to uski bato ko yaad krke. Raat ko sote waqt hum msg se chat krte, us time me itni pagal ho
gai ki mujhe nind to aati pr me usse bt krne k liye soti hi nhi thi,or fir pta hi nhi chalta tha ki kb so jati thi. Bd me humesha usse sorry bolti. Jb raat ko usse bt krke sone lgti to uski yaado me rahti, or subah aankh khulti to bhi uska chahra meri aankho me or yad dil me hoti thi, lgta tha ki me puri raat bhar shayad usse hi bt kr rhi hu.. mujhe usse bat kiya rh nhi paati thi..jab uska bday tha may me tb wo banswara aaya hua tha ghar pe cake dia fir mujhe apne cousins k ghar aane ko kaha me usk saath gyi achaa lg rha thaa..muje vishwas nhi hota tha ki me usse hi kyaa bate karti hu qki jab me milti hu tb nazrein mila nhi paati hu..us rat me di k waha hi ruk gyi thi rat ko..
tab waha sab mojud the aur tbhi uska msg aaya i miss u swthrt..!! y msg mere bhaiya ne pad liya aur usne pucha kaun h y bt mene kaha meri frnd jeny h unko puri trah se shaq ho gya thaa aur apne mobile se call kiya..bt wo utha nhi rha tha..
muje bs kese b karke use btana tha ki wo call ko uthye nhi..so me jaldi se tauji k kamre me gayi aur unka mobile liyaa..gbrahat k karan msg type nhi huaa aur draft me save ho gyaa tbhi mujhe bhaiya ne pkad liya fir se ..aur draft waale msg pad liya tb muje unhone bithaya aur samjhaya me bhut roi us waqt muje nind nhi aayi us waqt..y baat mene usse kahi agle din ...mere bhaiya ne yhi bat kesi aur ko khakr bhaiya X fnd y jakr use mara..y baat sunkar mujhe bhut gussa aaya qki mujse baat kuch khi nhi aur use maara y sab dekha kahi log aur bacho ne..
dheere hmari kahani ka khulasa hota gyaa..muje jeene ki umid nhi ho rhi thi me bhut rotii aur usse bat karti ki muje nhi jina h mgr mujhe wo pyar se smja diya kar deta aur himmat deta..aese hi karke bat ka jyada felasa hua aur kahi logo k batane ka karan muje apne luv ka nam bta rhe the ki usne khud ne muje kaha h..aese hi karke hmara break up ho gaya kuch shyad misunderstanding ki wjah se.. me y baat kesi se share b nhi karna chahti thi au dheere dheere me usse bhulna chahti thi mgar hmesha uske mere dil me kahi na khi jgah thi..jo me itni jaldi nhi bhul skti thi..me apni bat X frnd se share ki usne b muje kahi na kahi shi bat kahi jisse laga muje ki muje apna aim ki traf jana chaiye...me hmesha X frnd se apni bat kia karti thi aur kuch na kuch shre karti rhti uski b muje har baat ka dhyan rhta..muje achaa lgne lgaa ki meri lyf me 1st bst frnd h jo mere fillings ko smjta h..aese hi ek din baat baat karte karte kahi na kahi uske man kibat boli mujse..mujhe khu ko hi ptaa mere saarg kya hua tha aur me kya karne ja rhi hu..mene use ha kahe diaa..aese hmne chat ki..me usse bat nhi karti call pe ptaa nhi q muje achaa nhi lagta tha..me hmesha koi na koi bahana dhund leti thi ignore k liye..ek baar to usne muje kh dia phle kese time nikal diya kati thi usk liye aur ab mere liye nhi nikal sakti us waqt muje itna gussa aaya X pe qki muje acha nhi lgta tha jb koi usk bare me bhura kuch kahe ptaa nhi q...aese hi mere bday k din muje 1st lov ne gft bhijwaya di k through mene accept kar liyaa..muje usk liye kahi na kahi feel hua wapas ki me galt thi shayad mene usse baat ki wapas aur isi bich hmari khi na khi misunderstnding dur hui mgr hmne use continue nhi hone dia...hmari aur X frnd k bich me huaa wo sb kuch me 1st luv se nhi share karna chahti thi qki muje usse juda hone ka dar tha khaskar nafrt ka...wo muje nafrt ki trah se dekhe y kbhi me chahti nhi thi...
november me uskacall aaya bilkul acahanak..mene usse kahi der tak bat ki mujhe bhut hurt feel hua ki mene jyaa kiya uske sath..mujhe wapas usse pyar hone lgaa ...tb me X ko chod dia use mene kuch response hi nhi diaa ...mene 1st love se bat kiye huee 15 days more ho gye the...bt hmare wapas bat karne ka kesi ko pta nhi tha sirf di k siwaa..aes hi mera pyar aur majbut hone lgaa..ab mere aur X k bich jo huaa wo 1st love ko ptaa chal gyaaa..usne muje bhulaya usk sath x frnd b thaa.. y dekh k me bilkul heran ho gyi aur dar gyi thi..tb mujse puchaa ki me real luv kisse karti hu tb mene apne 1st love ka nam liyaa..qki muje nhi lgta tha ki me utna pyar karti hu jitna apne 1st love se karti hu...y baat sunkar mujse kahi qn puche ki X sath kyaa chal rha tha itne din..!bt me kuch nhi bol paayi qki iska jwab mere paas nhi tha..muje khud ko nhi pta kb x se luv hua qki pyar kab ho jaata h pta nhi chalta h..fir se aaj hum judaa ho gye ... muje ab wapas usk bina jeena nhi aata h me bhut roi hu apne 1st lov ko dhokha dekhr shayad bt mene use hi apna phla pyaar mana h mgar mene unka bharosa toda h aur wo aaj mujse nafrat karte h..muje unka bharosa waps lana h m still w8ting for him....aur last 31 dec. 2011 hmne life ki sucess k liye wish kiaa aur new year k liye b ki hm aajse wapas new kamnao k sath jeeyenge past bhulkar...

my first love...
Once in a while
You are in my mind
I think about the days that we
had
And I dream that these would all
come back to me
If only you knew every moment in
time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
How I want here to be with you
Once more
You are always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let
you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don’t say no
You are always gonna be the one
in my life
So true, I believe I can never find
Somebody like you
My first love…

i love you to much...!!!! :( :( :(

frndzz mene apni story btakar kuch aaapse response lena chahti hu... :(